Tag Archives: thought

Change: The Only Constant Thing.

26 Sunday Jun 2016

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At around 5.40 am on Friday, my internal alarm clock woke me up. As i stretched and proceeded to have the usual internal argument with myself as to whether to go back to bed for another 20 minutes, my hands stretched to the left side of my bed and my fingers felt and grabbed my phone. The lights of the phone  came on after a few uncoordinated swipes and I proceeded to wait the one or two seconds it usually took for my eyes to adjust to what I was looking at. Vision all cleared up, I was looking at a push notification from The Guardian News: Britain had voted to leave the European Union.

What followed was a mixture of instant panic and sheer disbelief and as you can imagine, any hope of going back to bed withered away like darkness flees in the sight of light as I tried to comprehend how anyone would have imagined that this was a good idea. A part of me wondered whether I was dreaming and I blinked twice – just in case.

As the minutes quickly  turned to hours, it was clear that this was not a drill and the people had chosen.

I immediately took to twitter to spell out what my understanding of the implications of the whole thing was and to my comfort my thinking was not far from what thought leaders and other entrepreneurs were thinking: “We have got a real shit show on our hands mate” .

As 12 noon rolled on, it became clear that all plans of achieving anything remotely fruitful were a mere wish, i stumbled upon the quote from Heraclitus which i had created earlier in the week to post on my Instagram and Facebook fan page.

Reading it gave me some peace and i managed to have a few laughs at the entire situation.

It is still not clear what Britain’s future in the European Union is, I hear there are calls for another referendum. (I am yet to see how feasible that would be).

What is clear to me however, is that there needs to be a real change in the way political messages are passed on to the ordinary man or woman. All these cunning untruths and smart play on people’s inclination towards xenophobia are not necesary, neither are they helpful in the grand scheme of things because in the end, your children and their children would be forced to live with the consequences of whatever decision you make and a secluded Britain or England (I hear that Nicola Sturgeon is planning a new Scottish Referendum) would not help anyone.

Another thing is clear: we need to read more and not just ‘vote with our hearts’ or ‘take our country back’ especially when that country no longer has the luxury of colonies serving it, as it did in the past. Surely, if your heart tells you that a shark looks pleasing enough to swim with you would immediately ignore it and proceed to put as much distance between you and the shark, as possible. So why ‘vote with your heart’ on something as key as this without reading up properly or even easier, asking the right questions to the key messengers?

I am not a political analyst and l hardly write post related to politics but this one got me really riled up and I hope it is sorted out soon.

While it is being sorted out, this situation presents the perfect opportunity for emerging economies to get their act together and flourish.

In the end, I believe we will all be fine.

I hope you have a pleasant Sunday and an even more pleasant week ahead.

Love,
Chika

Good thing, bad thing…who knows?

27 Wednesday Apr 2016

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Fairly recently, a friend of mine was involved in a collision with a skater who appeared out of the other side of the road and rammed into his car. He was on his way to an important meeting and was just out of his base when the incident happened.

Understandably, he was thoroughly upset by the incident especially as the collision meant that he could not continue on his way because the scene needed to be accessed by the traffic police and the ambulance service also had to be called in, to make sure that the skater guy was not injured internally.

When you factor in the fact that the collision was by no means my friend’s fault, then one would understand his frustration and anger especially as the impact left a dent on his car, caused him to lose the side mirror of his car and ultimately led to him missing the important meeting.

When I heard this story – some time later, my mind immediately flashed back to the following story which I found on LinkedIn. It goes like this:

“A man and his teenage son lived in a beautiful valley.  They were very happy, but they were also dirt poor, and the man got tired of living in poverty. 

He decided to go entrepreneurial and become rich by breeding horses.  He borrowed heavily from his neighbors and bought a stallion.  He kept it in a paddock and the very day he bought it, the stallion kicked the top bar loose and vanished.

The neighbors flocked around to commiserate. “You were going to become a rich man,” They said.  “But now your stallion has run away and you still owe us money.  How sad.” And there may have been some schadenfreude in their sympathy.

The man shrugged his shoulders and said, “Good thing, bad thing…Who knows?”

The stallion fell in with a bunch of wild horses, and the man spied them in a valley close by.  He was able to entice them into his paddock, which he had repaired.  So he now had his stallion back, plus a dozen horses.  That made him a rich man by the standards of that village.

The neighbors clustered around again, and there was a tinge of envy as they congratulated him.  “We thought you were destitute but fortune has smiled on you.” they said.  “You are already a rich man.”

The man shrugged his shoulders and said, “Good thing, bad thing…who knows?”

The man and his son started to break the horses so they could sell them, one of them threw the man’s son and stomped on his leg.  It broke and healed crooked.

Again the neighbors came.  “He was such a fine young lad,” they said.  “Now he will never be able to find a girl to marry.”

The man shrugged his shoulders and said, “Good thing, bad thing…Who knows?

And that very summer, the king of the country declared war on a neighbor, and press gangs moved through the villages rounding up all the able-bodied young men. They spared the man’s son because he had a game leg.

There were tears in their eyes as the neighbors lamented, “We don’t know if we will ever see our sons again.  You are so fortunate—you still have your son with you.”

The man shrugged his shoulders and said, “Good thing, bad thing…Who knows?”

So my friend missed his meeting, his car got dented and he lost his passenger side mirror in the process. On the plus side, the skater guy did not die, the collision was not worse and the meeting was ultimately rescheduled. Hopefully, the skater guy has learnt how close he was to meeting his maker and not pop into a busy road willy nilly in future.

The truth is that Life does not turn out the way we want it to.  It also does not not turn out exactly the way we want it to either.  Not all the time anyway. It turns out the way it is and the sooner we realise this, the less stress we would generally carry around.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and that you enjoy the rest of your week.

Love,

Chika

 

 

A saint in heaven by Paulo Coelho

13 Wednesday Apr 2016

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‘Why is it that some people can resolve the most complicated problems really easily, whilst others agonize over every tiny crisis and end up drowning in a glass of water?’ I asked.

Ramesh replied by telling the following story:

‘Once upon a time, there was a man who had been the soul of kindness all his life.
When he died, everyone assumed that he would go straight to Heaven, for the only possible place for a good man like him was Paradise.

The man wasn’t particularly bothered about going to Heaven, but that was where he went.
Now in those days, service in heaven was not all that it might be.

The reception desk was extremely inefficient, and the girl who received him gave only a cursory glance through the index cards before her and when she couldn’t find the man’s name, she sent him straight to Hell.

And in Hell no one asks to check your badge or your invitation, for anyone who turns up is invited in. The man entered and stayed.

Some days later, Lucifer stormed up to the gates of Heaven to demand an explanation from St Peter.

“What you’re doing is pure terrorism!” he said. “You sent that man down into Hell, and he’s completely undermining me! Right from the start, there he was listening to people, looking them in the eye, talking to them.
“And now everyone’s sharing their feelings and hugging and kissing. That’s not the sort of thing I want in Hell! Please, let him into Heaven!’

When Ramesh had finished telling the story, he looked at me fondly and said:

‘Live your life with so much love in your heart that if, by mistake, you were sent to Hell, the Devil himself would deliver you up to Paradise.’

Story written by Paulo Coelho: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2016/04/11/a-saint-in-the-wrong-place/

Image credit: aforgrave.ca

5 ways to spot a catfish account on Facebook

12 Saturday Dec 2015

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catfish 2

As part of my marketing efforts to generate interest for my novel, Twisted in a Positive Way, I have been doing some social media promotion, as well as answering interview questions from other bloggers. As a result of this, I have also gained more Facebook friends and few more Twitter followers.

One of such Facebook friends was a man I will call Gerard Smith for the purpose of this post. (Apologies to all the actual Gerard Smiths out there)

So Gerard Smith added me on Facebook, I checked his profile and saw that we had two mutual friends so I accepted his invite. Not long after accepting his invite, he made a nice comment about one of my pictures so I checked out his profile and saw that he had only 5 pictures, all of which seemed very recent. I thought that was odd, but decided not to think too much about it.

Later, he sent me a message wanting to know how my day went and I replied, asking how he knew me because I could not recognise him.

Gerard responded stating he did not know me but saw my picture and “liked” me. In my head, I was wondering how someone could possibly like someone without knowing the person. Surely that person could turn out to be a serial killer. So I replied with “fair enough”.

One thing that was very obvious from our chat was that Gerard had a poor command of English, often using “were” in place of “where” and “your” instead of “you are” amongst other mistakes.

When I asked where he lived and he replied “uk”, I then checked his profile again and it stated his location as Clapham, Lancashire. Still something didn’t seem right so I asked what part of UK he lived in and he replied, “clapham”.

Now, I know of two different places called Clapham here in the UK. One in London and another, in the North Yorkshire region.

Still, I wanted to test Gerard, so I asked him where Clapham was located and he stopped replying.

He finally replied the following day with just one word, “south”. This got me thinking, surely someone who lives in Clapham, Lancashire should know that Lancashire is not in the south.

At this point, I had all the evidence I needed to prove that our friend Gerard was a catfish and an unintelligent one at that.

Based on my very brief experience, there are 5 quick ways to spot a catfish.

  • The person has only 4 or 5 pictures on Facebook

 

Facebook has been around for long enough for people to have more than a few pictures on it so if someone adds you and he or she has only very few pictures on it, this should be a flag. You should even be more worried if all the pictures appear to have been posted recently and within a short period of time. This shows that the profile was created hurriedly.

Dot Con: The Art of Scamming a Scammer

  • The person has poor command of English

 

If the person sending you messages on Facebook has a very poor command of English, this usually points to the fact that the person is located in a different region (perhaps a non-English speaking region) from where the person is claiming to be based.

  • The person does not appear to know much about his location

 

This points to the fact that the person doesn’t live there at all. Surely you should know where the city you live in is located.

  • The person uses endearing words too quickly

 

If a person you accepted his invite immediately starts saying he likes you or starts professing feelings for you, then this should be a massive red flag. I have heard of love at first sight, but surely not that fast.

  • The person has very little limited information on his/her profile

 

This point is self-explanatory.

In the end, use your intuition and if something does not seem right, don’t be afraid to use the block button because in the end, it is better to be safe than to be sorry.

Image credit: http://socialnewsdaily.com/11296/catfishing-infographic/

 

 

Telling Great Lies

26 Sunday Apr 2015

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I know that a number of people who come across this title would wonder what I mean by the title. Years ago, I read the book, “Retire Young Retire Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki where came across the concept.

This has to do with the kind of words we say to ourselves. I found out that when one makes a statement such as “I can never have enough money” or “I can never be rich” or “I can never be happy” that these statements are actually lies because they are not based on actual facts. They have not been to the future to confirm that they can never be those things, so basically, they are lying.

This same principle applies to a situation where one makes a statement such as “I will be very rich in future” or “I will pass my exams” or “I will be happily married”. They have also lied.

However, the truth is that anything you say about yourself will eventually become a reality in future. This means that these lies you tell about yourself, if told over a long enough period of time, would eventually come true. This is because those words are planted in your mind and begin to affect your actions and your future is a result of your actions based on the words you have spoken to your mind.

So when one makes a statement such as “I cannot have enough money”, what happens is that the person’s mind picks up the message of poverty and transmits it to the brain and it sits there, such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the mind shuts off itself from this opportunity thus causing the person to remain at that same level of poverty or perceived lack of prosperity.

The same applies to when a person makes a positive statement such as, “I will be very rich”, the person’s mind picks up the message and the brain continues to work out ways for the person to become rich such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the brain immediately picks it up and the person takes advantage of the opportunity.

Taking all these into consideration, I believe that it makes a bit more sense for me to live a great life which has come about through the telling of positive lies I have told in the past about my future than to have a life filled with pain and sadness as a result of negative lies I may have spoken into my future.

I am not saying that telling lies with the intent to deceive is good, but when it comes to our future, we should watch the words we use because our words do become a reality.

Just as Christians believe that the world was created through spoken word, we as humans have this immense power in our spoken word because we are a product of the superior intelligence that created the world.

Telling great lies in practice is very easy and costs very little, if anything. However, its benefits are amazing as it helps to shape our future and keeps us in a great mood.

So my advice is this,  next time you feel down and negative thoughts fill your mind, just watch yourself and spot when those negative lies are about to pop out of your mouth. Stop yourself and consciously choose instead to speak positively.

Make positive speaking a habit and watch your life and your outlook about life change for the better.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Chika

Uptown Funk

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

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clip-art-dancing-999292 Good morning beautiful people,

I hope you had a good Easter break. Mine was fulfilling as I got to kick back and relax after what I felt was a really busy week. As fun as my long weekend was, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the over 100 University students whose lives were brutally cut short in Kenya by some terrorists. I hope this plague of senseless killings is brought to an end soon. May their beautiful souls rest in peace. Amen.

The inspiration for this post came yesterday morning. After the long bank holiday weekend, I woke up by 0530 (before my alarm clock rang). What was more surprising to me was the fact that I had “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars playing in my head right from “dreamland”.

This was surprising because I cannot remember listening to this song throughout the long weekend but try as I could, the song was stuck in my head. Not that I was complaining because it is a happy song, dare I say motivating, kind of like Pharrell William’s “Happy”. So what did I do when I found out that all my effort to get “Uptown funk” out of my head had failed, I went on Spotify, downloaded it and listened to it while I got ready for work and on my commute to work.

Boy, I must say that the song is quite electrifying. If you haven’t listened to it, please do. I almost guaranty that you would find your feet moving along to the beat before long. The part I like best goes like this;

“I’m too hot (hot damn)

Called the police and the fireman

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire man”

I found the lyrics quite funny because first of all, dragons don’t exist other than on the TV show, “Game of Thrones” (in my opinion) but as ridiculously funny as the lyrics were, it put a certain spring in my step. Throughout the morning, I felt quite positive and upbeat. Even when my day went slightly pear shaped, I was still jamming to “Uptown Funk” in my head.

On my train ride to work, I saw a lot of grumpy looking people probably pissed off that the Bank Holiday was over but hey, what else can we do about it? We just have to keep life moving. If we keep filling our minds with everything that is not quite right in life, how else are we going to be happy? We would just keep dwelling on all the bad stuff and through the Law of Attraction, more reasons for us to be unhappy would manifest, causing the cycle to continue probably leading to a really bad day.

I believe that in life, you just have to find what makes you happy. For me it is music and inspirational books (when I get the chance). For another, it could be working out in the gym. For others, it could be writing, reading, playing Sudoku or even singing. I believe that a positively minded person always has a more enjoyable ride on this boat called life.

This is not to say that I don’t have concerns. Very far from it but my point is, what have you got to lose by making yourself happy? Absolutely nothing. I understand that being unnecessarily happy is not everyone’s cup of tea.

I have actually met a couple of people who would much rather moan than look on the bright side of life, so please ignore me if you are one of them. However, I truly hope that being happy makes sense to you and that this post motivates you as it has motivated me.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave your comment and remember, keep keeping on.

Love, Chika

Image Credit: picgifs.com

Standing Still

21 Saturday Mar 2015

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standing-still Fairly recently, l took on a new role which involves a lot of commuting. A number of friends and acquaintances believe that the number of hours I spend on the train is a bit too much and some of them have stated out rightly that they could never see themselves ever doing this for a job. Personally, I am thankful for the experience because I believe I have learnt a lot these past few months. A whole lot I must say. The thing I enjoy most about commuting is that it provides me with time to think while doing a bit of people watching and writing. In this present day when we are constantly bombarded by social media notifications, phone calls, WhatsApp messages, text messages, BBMs and all other forms of modern day distractions, it has become quite a luxury for me to be able to set aside time to just clear my head and ponder about everything from life plans to trivial matters such as what I am going to have for dinner. Actually, scratch that, dinner is not trivial for a self professed foodie like me. Thankfully, this is where the gym comes in…when I can drag myself there. Lol…Pardon me, I digress. Back to my point… Being able to mentally eject oneself from all these distractions is what I refer to as standing still. Standing still for a period of time, be it 10 minutes or up to one hour in my case, i.e. a time when you can just sit, lie, stand, bend or take up any position that pleases you to ponder, allow your mind to wander while visiting/revisiting your goals. You know those goals I am referring to, those ones you have told yourself that you just have not got the time to think about because you have been so busy. You could stand still and think about these alongside everything and anything else. You could decide to reflect on the past, your childhood days or even embarrassing moments (I know I have had my fair share of them). Any wholesome thought goes within this period of standing still. I usually end up feeling a lot more grounded than I would otherwise have felt if I were constantly checking my phone and getting distracted by God knows what else. A greater feeling of control and peace usually engulfs me after my “standing still sessions”. Maybe this is what yoga does. I believe both concepts are the same because they both provide one with some time to eject oneself from modern day distractions. It is okay if you are reading this and thinking, “This is total bonkers”. However my suggestion to you would be, why not try it out and if after a few sessions, if you come to the conclusion that this is not for you, then at least you know one more thing that does not quite work for you. I personally have benefited so much from standing still and I strongly believe that if you actively and consciously practise this, you would be pleased at how much mind work you can get done in this period of sober reflection. Till you read from me again, keep keeping on. Image credit: nicktyrone.com

Making Hay Before the Sun Shines

08 Sunday Mar 2015

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making hay

The inspiration for this post came to me about 3 months ago.

I was on my way to work having got on my regular train into the city. However, on this day, the weather was not very friendly and as a result, my train got delayed. As you can imagine, there was a mad rush of people whom I suspect also had delayed journeys, milling into the centre, trying to make a dash to their destinations.

As I walked on, I got to a set of traffic lights, pressed the button and stood there, with my headphones on, slightly oblivious to my immediate environment, while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I was getting particularly engrossed in “Drifting” by Enya when I was jolted into reality by a loud scream and the blaring of car horns.

Naturally, I pulled out my headphones from my ears and looked in the direction of the noise and all I saw was a woman running across the road. In her mad rush, she had crossed the road and just narrowly missed being hit by a car.

Of course everyone was relieved that she didn’t get hurt and some older people shook their heads but the funny thing that happened was that about 10 seconds later, the light changed to green for pedestrians to cross and the rest of us crossed the road.

As I carried on walking past shops on my way to my office, so many thoughts crossed my mind. I kept wondering what would have happened if this woman in her blind haste had been hit by the car. “What if she had waited for about 10 more seconds?”. I believe she would have crossed the road in a much more comfortable manner without having to put herself at the kind of risk she did.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are we too hasty to go from where we are to where we want to be?”. “Do we in our haste to achieve goals, blindly rush off going after opportunities and taking decisions which in hindsight turn out to be a big mistake?”.

I have seen so many instances where people have rushed off to quit their jobs or relationships based on the promise of an amazing new position or partner elsewhere, only to find out that they may have been better off if they persevered a bit or left after giving it a bit more time and thought..

This is not to say that anyone should stay in an environment that constantly robs them of their joy. My point however is that, perhaps if we gave our actions a bit more thought, we would pursue these new opportunities in a more organised and strategic way which usually have a higher chance of success than if we dashed out like the woman, endangering our lives in the process.

Are we making hay even before the sun shines? Think about it…

Image credit: shutterstock.com