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~ A regular source of motivation through personal experiences interpreted to inspire the reader.

Twisted in a Positive Way

Tag Archives: thanksgiving

Open your heart

30 Saturday May 2015

Posted by Chika Efobi in Motivation

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Tags

beauty, happiness, inspiration, life, mindfulness, motivation, thanksgiving

Open your heart
I woke up about an hour ago, 0530 my time after about 8 hours of sleep. Last night’s sleep was one of those rare nights where I slept for more than 5 hours.

I have found that my life has been so fast paced these past few months, probably because of the work I do and a couple of other personal projects I have embarked on, one of which I would announce when the time is right.

So I woke up, first thing I did after stretching endlessly was to bring out my phone, checked my messages and emails, wrote out my to do list and toggled on to Spotify. I thought about what song would be perfect for a relatively lazy saturday and decided to listen to “He lives in you” by Lebo M. I don’t know how many of you know about the song but it was one of the sound tracks of Walt Disney’s “The Lion King”.

Now this song may not sound too special for those who have watched the movie. I myself watched it every Christmas as a kid. I remember those days, my cousins and I would sit in the large sitting room of my Uncle’s house in the village and watch the Lion King. No matter how many times we watched it back then, we just could not get enough of the cartoon.

So here I was listening to a song I was not unaware of but the difference between when I used to listen to it as a kid and this morning was I opened my heart to the message within the song and I must say it was glorious. When the song finished, I put it on repeat and felt a wave of inspiration hit me.

As I continued to listen, I began to consider how much we miss, how much beauty, inspiration, opportunities to receive and give love we miss because we are all so busy.

At this point, the song had finished playing and it was starting again, my eyes went to the purple orchid sitting in its white vase on my window. The orchid in itself requires little water to blossom. It is one of the most low maintenance plants I know of, yet it remains a source of beauty, a lesson in beauty even in imperfect conditions.

I began to consider other everyday living things like the ant which depending on where you live, could be a source of nuisance. However even ants, as little as they are, teach us lessons on hard work, cooperation and most of all strength in unity. If you have ever watched ants attack and move a piece of sugar, you would know what I am talking about.

As I thought about this, my eyes spotted some soil on my boots which now left a little brown stain on my cream coloured rug. On a regular day, I would have been cross at the prospect of having to clean the stain off my rug but now, in this moment I considered that this soil was a part of a larger collection of soil whose purpose was to provide food for humans, along with thousands of living creatures all over the world.

I had a few other thoughts which I would not like to bore you with but my point is, you can experience a more positive and fulfilling life when you open your heart to all the beauty and lessons around us. We normally miss these sources of inspiration because we are either too busy or too focused on our problems.

I have always been a firm believer that one those not have to wait till a special day in the week to go to a special holy place to receive inspiration or answers to life questions. Sometimes the answers we seek are and have always been all around us.

All we need to do is open our hearts to receive them.

Have a fulfilling weekend

Love,

Chika

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Keep Digging

05 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by Chika Efobi in Motivation

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

life, motivation, success, thanksgiving, wisdom

keep digging

Hi friends,
I was considering a number of positively twisted topics for this week’s blog post and came across this story on Tyler Perry’s Facebook page.

(For those who do not know him, he is an American producer, known for creating, and performing in drag, the Madea character, a tough, vindictive, and over reactive elderly woman. He has created many feature films, starting with Diary of a Mad Black Woman, in 2005, featuring Madea. In 2011, Forbes named him the highest paid man in entertainment, earning $130 million between May 2010 and 2011 (source: Wikipedia))

I have decided to use this true story, which essentially captures my thoughts for my first post in 2013. I hope you enjoy reading it. See below:

A few years ago I was getting these really insane water bills. I mean HIGH! So I decided to dig some wells in my yard to have water for my landscape. I live alone, so I know it had to be from watering the grass. So I hired a company to come out and dig these wells. The foreman and I walked all around my yard and as we were walking he was putting down flags. I asked what the flags were for. He said, “The flags represent good places to dig for water.” I asked, “Why do you have so many flags?” He said, “I’m not sure if any of these places will produce water.” I said, “Hold up, you mean if you dig all these spots and don’t hit water I still have to pay you?” He said, “Yes, that’s how it goes.” I said, “Ok, fine.” Needless to say, he dug three wells and never hit water. I said, “Just stop.”

I got a few more extreme water bills and called him back. He said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes, keep drilling until you hit water.” The next well he dug he was down 500 feet and still didn’t hit any water. He asked if I wanted him to stop. I said, “Go deeper.” He dug down another 200 feet and still nothing. I said, “Go deeper.” He drilled another 200 feet and he hit rock. I said, “Blast it, cut it, do whatever you have to do but keep digging.” After fighting the rock and breaking his drill and getting a new one we got a little deeper. He said, “We are at 1,200 feet, why do you want me to keep going?” I said, “because I’m tired of these water bills and I’m going to do something about it.” He said, “But this is really deep.” I asked him if he had hit water yet. He said “no,” so I told him to go deeper. “But you don’t understand,” he said. “We don’t usually drill this deep, this is going to be expensive.” I told him that, “Sometimes you have to go deeper to get what you are after, no matter what the cost.” He started the machine and went down another four inches and hit a river of water. Just a few inches separated me from getting my breakthrough. That was five years ago and that well has never run dry.

In 2013 I want you to apply that to your life in all ways. Sometimes you will spend time on a thing and it will produce no water. Don’t be afraid to move on to another spot. YOU CAN’T HAVE FEAR. I don’t care how much time you put into it. If the well is dry MOVE ON! Nothing lives where there is no living water. Be it a relationship, a job, a business, don’t be afraid to move to another spot.

Now, on the other hand, if you are digging your well and you are sure that it is not only where you want to be but where God wants you to be, then keep digging in that same spot. Don’t stop digging until you hit a river of blessings. Don’t stop praying until you live in the change you’ve been waiting for. Don’t stop pushing until you deliver your breakthrough. Yes, it will get difficult. Yes, you may hit rock. Yes, there will be a cost. But when you get to what God is trying to get you to, YOU WILL RECOVER IT ALL!

One of my favorite scriptures says that. “PURSUE AND YOU SHALL RECOVER IT ALL!”

Some people give up when they are only inches away!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and may you remember to keep digging.

Love,

Chika

Photo credit: smartsayingsfortoday.files.wordpress.com

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My 2012: reviewed

31 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Chika Efobi in Motivation

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

life, motivation, thanksgiving, thought, wisdom

2012-2013
It was a not-so bright Sunday afternoon yesterday, the weather was a bit rainy and I was walking home after a 55-minute work-out at the gym. With my JD Sport “gym sack” hanging weightlessly from my right shoulder and my I-pod blasting a mix of work out and solemn music, I trudged on home, the hood of my jacket was my only protection from the “epileptic rain” and my thoughts wandered as I observed pairs of Sunday shoppers and diners walking and holding hands.
I got to the pelican crossing, pressed the signal and waited for the traffic light to stop oncoming traffic so I could cross. While waiting and wondering, the music on my I-pod changed to “Bianule” a song by Samsong (It is a Nigerian gospel praise song performed in a mix of English and Igbo Language). As I listened to the song, I felt my heart flooding with positive thoughts as I reflected on my year 2012.
Flashes of different memorable events flooded my mind: I had my graduation ceremony in January 2012 which saw my parents and friends coming over to see me finish with a Distinction in Information Systems Management. Between February and March, I let go of some friendships and made new friends, I went ice-skating for the first time in March and realised that I was extremely bad at it (I fell too many times to count. It was hilarious and physically painful) Between April and July, I changed jobs twice and moved to a new city as result of the new job. By August, I started a fitness plan, embraced a life of more conscious living and lost a total of 32 pounds (about 15kg) between August and December (I still find it hard to believe, please look out for my blog post on fitness in January 2013 as I will be sharing some fitness tips).
Between August and November, I studied and passed some certification exams and excelled at work. In September, I travelled to the beautiful, serene country of Malta with friends on holiday… and the list continues. My friends and loved ones have not been left out of these testimonies as good health and success stories have been highlights of the year.

As I thought about all these and more, I began to sense a feeling of intense humility as I acknowledged the fact that I would not have achieved this without God for He alone made all these possible. When people praise me, I find it hard to believe and accept because I know that they have not by my power and might. I wouldn’t have achieved any of these if not because of the finger of God in my life. They were surely not because I have deserved them because by some standards, I haven’t. The Creator in his infinite wisdom and love has kept me and mine throughout the year and I will always be thankful for this.

You may be reading this and comparing your 2012 with mine and it may not seem as grand or positively eventful but I urge you not to be dismayed. You are alive and your heart is beating, that is something to be grateful about. You need to realise that in every minute you spend not being thankful, someone has lost his/her life. The constant awareness of this tends to put things in perspective for me whenever negative feelings crop up. You may be comparing yourself with friends who seem to have done better than you in 2012 but you need to realise that we all have different paths and as the saying goes, if you decide to be someone else, then who will be you?

I urge you my friends to replace any feeling of ingratitude or irrational competition with a heart of thanksgiving for the things you have. This is because, the more thankful you are, the more your life becomes a fertile ground for the fulfilment of those things you still desire.

If you have had an even more fruitful 2012, then I rejoice with you and urge you to stay thankful as even greater achievements will come in the new year.

I wish you all a fruitful and fulfilling 2013.

Photo credit: ultimatealoe.wordpress.com

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Look Within

21 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Chika Efobi in Motivation

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

life, motivation, success, thanksgiving, thought, wisdom

look within2
It is 3 days to Christmas and everyone down here is buzzing with Christmas spirit. Cards are being exchanged, company Christmas parties are well underway, high street stores are filled with shoppers trying to last-minute gifts for their friends and family. Christmas lights and decorations adorn the streets and door posts. It is indeed an exciting time alive and I am so glad that we have made it this far into the year.

Amidst my happiness, I am also aware of the pain that families of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School. The shooting took place on the 14th of December, 2012 in Newtown Connecticut, United States of America, where a 20 year old young man opened gun fire killing his mother at her home, 20 school children and 6 adults before finally killing himself in an act that I can only describe as utterly sick and incomprehensible.

As I sit here pondering while reading through the descriptions of the victims, most of whom were around 6 years of age, it saddens me that these kids were not given the chance to live a full life as we know it. I personally would probably never understand what must have gone through Adam Lanza’s mind to allow him hatch and execute this senseless act on poor unsuspecting victims. One thing I am sure of though is the fact that his name will forever go down in history as the young man who was responsible for the unfair and unjust killings of these beautiful people.

These thoughts have got me pondering on the impression we leave in the hearts of people around us. “If you die today, would you be remembered as that loud, inconsiderate and irascible woman/man who didn’t mind trampling upon people as long as his/her goal was achieved?”, “Would you be remembered as dishonest person, a gossip or perhaps would people have no recollection of you because you have made no clear impact on people’s lives?” “Would people hear about your passing on and heave a sigh of relief?” “Would people only pay lip service to you at your funeral?”

I know all these may sound slightly harsh, but with the end of 2012 drawing ever so near, I believe now is the perfect time to take stock of our lives with the awareness that life on earth as we know it is fleeting. It is indeed the perfect time to make lasting decisions to be the best person we can be from now on. Let us make the decision to quit all unnecessary concerns and competition and decide to look within, bearing in mind that we humans on earth are supposed to be a reflection of God’s kindness and love.

Let this thought consume and shape our responses to events and our behaviour towards each other. Let us ask ourselves how we would feel if we were on the receiving end of our words, actions and inactions. Let this awareness shape the way we think about ourselves and the people around us.

I believe that a constant awareness of this would help us shape how we conduct ourselves from now on, into 2013 and beyond.

I wish you a happy and fulfilling Christmas celebration.

Love,
Chika

Image from conversapequena.blogspot.co.uk

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Why not me?

30 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by Chika Efobi in Motivation

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

success, thanksgiving, thought

life

It was at about 3pm last week Sunday. I was studying (with all the concentration I could muster) for my Project Management certification examination which I was supposed to take the next day when I heard my Blackberry phone buzz. “PING”, “PING”, I remembered that I put the phone on silent so I thought surely this must be very important or God forbid… an emergency. I stretched to my bedside drawer, picked up the phone where I hid it and looked at my BBM message. It read;
Sender: “Babe… are you there?”
Sender: “Babe”
Sender: “PING”, “PING”
Me: “How far?” (Pidgin English for: How are you?)
Sender: “I dey ooo” (Pidgin English for: I’m fine)
Me: “Se kosi?” (Yoruba Language for: Is there any problem)
Sender: “Babe…xyz is getting married”
Me: “Ehen… that’s brilliant. To who? ”
Sender: “One guy she started dating late last year”
Me: “Awww”
Sender: “Babe I need to settle down real fast, everyone is getting married eh, see even small jkl got married last month. When will my own come naa… I am tired.”
Me: “Why are you tired?”
Sender: “Look at me naa (“naa” is an exclamation), all my mates are married and I can’t even boast of a serious relationship. I keep attracting horny jerks, see even abc’s boyfriend just got her the new ipad.”
Me: “Babe…hapu ife ahu, (Igbo Language for: forget that), your own time will come too. At least you are alive, remember that someone somewhere, just died this minute”
Sender: “True sha (sha is pidgin english for an emphasis)”
Me: “You have a good job that allows you travel around and see different beautiful places. Do any of these people you have compared yourself to have this?”
Me: “You are pretty, healthy and kicking, you have a family that supports you, some people don’t have that you know… Count your blessings babe. You know when you are grateful for what you have you get more.”
Sender: “Na true sha… (Pidgin for: that’s true), this babe, you are an old woman in a young girl’s body. Ehen…by the way, I have these nice red high heels for sale…I think you would love”
The conversation moved to other trivial matters and when we finished, I pondered for a while asking myself these questions, “Why do we compete?” “Why do we define our success by how well other people are doing?”
My thoughts took me to when I was a child in Primary School, those days, achieving the first position in the class was the only position worth anything. We all strove to be in first position, I generally fluctuated between first position and second position up to the point when the class position system was changed to a class average system.

My thoughts then led me to my secondary school days where being first in the class did not matter so much to me anymore, I just did enough to get a very good average and never failed a course. University days were a slightly different story. People who were on course for a First Class were seen as demi gods, Second Class hopefuls seemed to have their futures sealed in a golden enveloped marked with “Sure Success”, the Second Class Lower were labelled as “a bunch of no-goods” (these were actual words of a lecturer by the way). If you then made the mistake of being on a Third Class, you were seen as done for.

Fast forward 5 years later, on careful observation I have noticed that everyone seems to be doing alright regardless of what grade you came out with. In fact, some of the “no-good” ones seem to do even better that the demi gods by some standards.

This got me thinking about how very different we really are. We come from different backgrounds; have different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, personal goals and past experiences, etc. So surely, using someone else as a basis for comparison is like comparing apples to oranges, which is not exactly fair.

Just as in my primary school days, when we competed for the first position because the first position was limited and not everyone could come first. Choosing to still compete and compare ourselves to someone else, invariably tells God/the Universe that there is scarcity of what we are competing for. Not exactly true is it?

Another thing I have noticed is that, when we compare ourselves to someone else, we lose our peace and we start having negative thoughts which cause us to believe that we are not good enough? We even forget that you are better than the ones lying in the mortuaries/graves who do not have the opportunity that we have.

If you don’t catch yourself early enough, these thoughts may cause you to start having even more negative thoughts, which could cause you to probably take solace in food, eat more or less, gain/lose weight, feel miserable about your appearance, find someone who seems to look better than you, compare yourself with that person and the mad cycle begins again. In the end who suffers for it? You guessed it…YOU.

Isn’t it better to ask yourself this question, “Am I better than I was five years ago?”, “Have I learnt new skills, increased my knowledge, wealth, etc. in the past 5 years?” If the answer is yes, then surely things are not that bad. You will then find yourself feeling better, more grateful and happier. These feelings should in turn energise you and cause you to ask the next question “Where do I want to be in 1, 2, 3 or 5 years’ time?” At this point you would notice yourself feeling even more energetic, scared or excited and then ask yourself, “How can I get there?”
What you do at this stage is up to you…

I would recommend getting a piece of paper/notebook and thankfully set personal goals, not out of the need to compete but goals with time limits that are true to you alone. You should then work towards each goal in a successful manner, staying thankful for what you have.

You may fall off a couple of times but staying thankful shows you that falling off is not because you cannot be successful because surely you have been successful at something else in the past.

Thank you for reading and I hope this post blessed you as it has blessed me.
Have a good weekend

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