Tag Archives: life

Unplug

12 Sunday Jul 2015

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Unplug

An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.― Criss Jami

One Saturday, about 4 months ago, I had an idea to embark on a one-day personal experiment to evaluate the impact of social media on my personal productivity. The experiment involved me turning off my phones, closing all the social media tabs on my computer and just focusing on checking off items on my to-do-list for the day.

I decided that from 8am to 8pm on that day, I would not go on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, I would not check emails, and neither would I listen to music on Spotify nor YouTube. I was not actively on Instagram then so that didn’t matter. It would be just me, myself, I and my to-do-list.

Before starting the experiment. I informed my partner that I would be going incognito for the day (just so he would not get worried by my absence or silence) and just switched off.

I thought it was going to be difficult when I started and for the first one hour it was.  I had to consciously stop myself from opening any social media app. I was going to take the cold turkey approach and I was determined to win. Those cute baby pictures and funny videos were going to have to wait.

The result of the experiment was almost mind blowing. I found out that once I got over the initial withdrawal symptoms, it was so easy to focus and complete my tasks. It was also less difficult to get distracted because there was nothing to be distracted by. I had shut off all the sources of distractions.

At the end of the experiment, it dawned on me that in this technological age, we have become addicts to social media. I use the word addict because social media addiction is very similar with the more dramatic addictions such as alcoholism, hard narcotics and even sex addiction.

Just like the drug and alcohol addict is unable to function at an optimum level, he or she is constantly at the mercy of the substance he or she abuses, the same applies with the social media addict . We have become at the mercy of social media such that we are unable to function at our optimum because we are constantly getting distracted from doing what we are actually meant to be doing.

Think about the many times you have opened you laptop to do your work or write something meaningful or perhaps study for your exams and without being aware, you type in facebook.com or perhaps go on Instagram. Before you realise what has happened, you have spent the next hour or two on these platforms. Those hours you have wasted are gone for good.

What alarmed me the more I thought about it was that these platforms we spend our time on are the result of someone else’s vision. Someone else has applied focus and worked really hard to come up with these platforms. We are now essentially paying with our time to help other people become more successful and we are providing this service free of charge.

The time we spend getting distracted from what we are meant to be doing is putting more money into someone’s pocket.

This is not to say that you should completely go off social media. Far from it. The point of this post is to make you aware of how much your productivity is impacted by allowing yourself to get distracted and perhaps urge you to consciously start to balance out how much time you waste on social media.

We all need to stay connected to our family, friends and perhaps enemies (just to see how well they are doing). However, where this becomes a problem is when we start to lose track of our tasks and goals.

I also found out at the end of this experiment that when I went back on social media later that evening, I had not missed much. The difference was that I had completed all my tasks and I felt more fulfilled.

I invite you to try out my experiment for a day or perhaps one week if you are courageous enough. Switch off completely and instead focus on completing those tasks you have been procrastinating on or not just gotten round to finishing. It would amaze you as to how much you could actually get done.

Have a fulfilling new week.

Love,

Chika

Image credit: http://www.theinnerseed.com/

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Open your heart

30 Saturday May 2015

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Open your heart
I woke up about an hour ago, 0530 my time after about 8 hours of sleep. Last night’s sleep was one of those rare nights where I slept for more than 5 hours.

I have found that my life has been so fast paced these past few months, probably because of the work I do and a couple of other personal projects I have embarked on, one of which I would announce when the time is right.

So I woke up, first thing I did after stretching endlessly was to bring out my phone, checked my messages and emails, wrote out my to do list and toggled on to Spotify. I thought about what song would be perfect for a relatively lazy saturday and decided to listen to “He lives in you” by Lebo M. I don’t know how many of you know about the song but it was one of the sound tracks of Walt Disney’s “The Lion King”.

Now this song may not sound too special for those who have watched the movie. I myself watched it every Christmas as a kid. I remember those days, my cousins and I would sit in the large sitting room of my Uncle’s house in the village and watch the Lion King. No matter how many times we watched it back then, we just could not get enough of the cartoon.

So here I was listening to a song I was not unaware of but the difference between when I used to listen to it as a kid and this morning was I opened my heart to the message within the song and I must say it was glorious. When the song finished, I put it on repeat and felt a wave of inspiration hit me.

As I continued to listen, I began to consider how much we miss, how much beauty, inspiration, opportunities to receive and give love we miss because we are all so busy.

At this point, the song had finished playing and it was starting again, my eyes went to the purple orchid sitting in its white vase on my window. The orchid in itself requires little water to blossom. It is one of the most low maintenance plants I know of, yet it remains a source of beauty, a lesson in beauty even in imperfect conditions.

I began to consider other everyday living things like the ant which depending on where you live, could be a source of nuisance. However even ants, as little as they are, teach us lessons on hard work, cooperation and most of all strength in unity. If you have ever watched ants attack and move a piece of sugar, you would know what I am talking about.

As I thought about this, my eyes spotted some soil on my boots which now left a little brown stain on my cream coloured rug. On a regular day, I would have been cross at the prospect of having to clean the stain off my rug but now, in this moment I considered that this soil was a part of a larger collection of soil whose purpose was to provide food for humans, along with thousands of living creatures all over the world.

I had a few other thoughts which I would not like to bore you with but my point is, you can experience a more positive and fulfilling life when you open your heart to all the beauty and lessons around us. We normally miss these sources of inspiration because we are either too busy or too focused on our problems.

I have always been a firm believer that one those not have to wait till a special day in the week to go to a special holy place to receive inspiration or answers to life questions. Sometimes the answers we seek are and have always been all around us.

All we need to do is open our hearts to receive them.

Have a fulfilling weekend

Love,

Chika

The Power of Association

20 Monday Apr 2015

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the power of association

This is a repost from a blog I had about a decade ago. Even though it has been a decade since I originally wrote this, I believe the lessons are still very valid for the times we are in…

Read below;

This topic has been on my mind for a while but no introduction ever seemed to fit. It was not until this morning, I was trying to wipe water that spilled on the floor. I had my bowl of water and my mop, and then my mind did a flash back to a HIV advert I watched on MTV about a year ago. Two young guys were about to go diving. The first guy insisted on going in with their safety gear. His friend said, “No we always go in with it, there are no sharks around. Let’s just go in this once without it.” The guy still argued with his friend a bit but finally his friend convinced him and they both dived in without their safety gear. True to the way life usually works out, they both got eaten by sharks.

It is a fact that those we constantly associate with have the power to either add to us or subtract from us. When we constantly interact with people, before long, we find ourselves beginning to act, speak and think like them.

If your inner circle is made up of people who constantly and without fail, sit around and engage in idle chat and gossip, while arguing about non-issues, before long, you would find yourself doing the same.

On the other hand, If your inner circle is made up of people who are focused, driven and serious minded, you too will have no choice but to be like them.

There have been a number of literature that have been dedicated to explaining the impacts of friendships and associations. The Bible also supports it in Proverbs 13 vs. 20 which states:

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

I like to believe that there are 5 different kinds of friends. They include, Refreshers, Refiners, Reflectors, Reducers and Rejecters. Below is a brief explanation of each category;

Refreshers: These are friends or acquaintances who strengthen your faith, encourage and energize and motivate you towards achieving your goals and vision. They too have big dreams and share a similar vision with you. When you interact with these people, your energy level goes up and you stay inspired.

Refiners: This group of people clarify your vision. After interacting with a refiner, you leave the room feeling more energised and with a clearer definition of your vision. They are very similar to the refreshers.

Reflectors: This group of people neither add nor subtract from you. They only mirror your energy. You have a great time interacting with them but you do not feel that you have learnt anything new, neither do you feel worse off. Most work colleagues fall into this category.

Reducers: These are people who actively/unconsciously try to diminish your goals and efforts to bring you down to their comfort level. Most of the time, they are people that are too afraid to see beyond their present situation and they get uncomfortable when they see someone with a large vision. You find out that, after interacting with such people for a long period of time, you feel like your energy levels are down. Perhaps you may feel some feeling of dismay after a long period of interacting with these individuals.

Rejecters: These are people who do not understand you or what you are trying to achieve. They keep criticizing everything and do not attempt to understand. After interacting with a rejecter, you may feel a sense of discomfort and lack of peace.

I believe that it is very easy to categorise your friends and acquaintances into the five categories stated above using their word patterns and reactions to concepts and ideas you come up with. It is now your responsibility to consciously decide who you want to keep in your life and who you need to perhaps not have that close association with if you know that they are/may become hindrances to the fulfillment of your dreams and vision.

I hope this has blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Love,

Chika

Uptown Funk

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

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clip-art-dancing-999292 Good morning beautiful people,

I hope you had a good Easter break. Mine was fulfilling as I got to kick back and relax after what I felt was a really busy week. As fun as my long weekend was, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the over 100 University students whose lives were brutally cut short in Kenya by some terrorists. I hope this plague of senseless killings is brought to an end soon. May their beautiful souls rest in peace. Amen.

The inspiration for this post came yesterday morning. After the long bank holiday weekend, I woke up by 0530 (before my alarm clock rang). What was more surprising to me was the fact that I had “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars playing in my head right from “dreamland”.

This was surprising because I cannot remember listening to this song throughout the long weekend but try as I could, the song was stuck in my head. Not that I was complaining because it is a happy song, dare I say motivating, kind of like Pharrell William’s “Happy”. So what did I do when I found out that all my effort to get “Uptown funk” out of my head had failed, I went on Spotify, downloaded it and listened to it while I got ready for work and on my commute to work.

Boy, I must say that the song is quite electrifying. If you haven’t listened to it, please do. I almost guaranty that you would find your feet moving along to the beat before long. The part I like best goes like this;

“I’m too hot (hot damn)

Called the police and the fireman

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire man”

I found the lyrics quite funny because first of all, dragons don’t exist other than on the TV show, “Game of Thrones” (in my opinion) but as ridiculously funny as the lyrics were, it put a certain spring in my step. Throughout the morning, I felt quite positive and upbeat. Even when my day went slightly pear shaped, I was still jamming to “Uptown Funk” in my head.

On my train ride to work, I saw a lot of grumpy looking people probably pissed off that the Bank Holiday was over but hey, what else can we do about it? We just have to keep life moving. If we keep filling our minds with everything that is not quite right in life, how else are we going to be happy? We would just keep dwelling on all the bad stuff and through the Law of Attraction, more reasons for us to be unhappy would manifest, causing the cycle to continue probably leading to a really bad day.

I believe that in life, you just have to find what makes you happy. For me it is music and inspirational books (when I get the chance). For another, it could be working out in the gym. For others, it could be writing, reading, playing Sudoku or even singing. I believe that a positively minded person always has a more enjoyable ride on this boat called life.

This is not to say that I don’t have concerns. Very far from it but my point is, what have you got to lose by making yourself happy? Absolutely nothing. I understand that being unnecessarily happy is not everyone’s cup of tea.

I have actually met a couple of people who would much rather moan than look on the bright side of life, so please ignore me if you are one of them. However, I truly hope that being happy makes sense to you and that this post motivates you as it has motivated me.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave your comment and remember, keep keeping on.

Love, Chika

Image Credit: picgifs.com

Making Hay Before the Sun Shines

08 Sunday Mar 2015

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making hay

The inspiration for this post came to me about 3 months ago.

I was on my way to work having got on my regular train into the city. However, on this day, the weather was not very friendly and as a result, my train got delayed. As you can imagine, there was a mad rush of people whom I suspect also had delayed journeys, milling into the centre, trying to make a dash to their destinations.

As I walked on, I got to a set of traffic lights, pressed the button and stood there, with my headphones on, slightly oblivious to my immediate environment, while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I was getting particularly engrossed in “Drifting” by Enya when I was jolted into reality by a loud scream and the blaring of car horns.

Naturally, I pulled out my headphones from my ears and looked in the direction of the noise and all I saw was a woman running across the road. In her mad rush, she had crossed the road and just narrowly missed being hit by a car.

Of course everyone was relieved that she didn’t get hurt and some older people shook their heads but the funny thing that happened was that about 10 seconds later, the light changed to green for pedestrians to cross and the rest of us crossed the road.

As I carried on walking past shops on my way to my office, so many thoughts crossed my mind. I kept wondering what would have happened if this woman in her blind haste had been hit by the car. “What if she had waited for about 10 more seconds?”. I believe she would have crossed the road in a much more comfortable manner without having to put herself at the kind of risk she did.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are we too hasty to go from where we are to where we want to be?”. “Do we in our haste to achieve goals, blindly rush off going after opportunities and taking decisions which in hindsight turn out to be a big mistake?”.

I have seen so many instances where people have rushed off to quit their jobs or relationships based on the promise of an amazing new position or partner elsewhere, only to find out that they may have been better off if they persevered a bit or left after giving it a bit more time and thought..

This is not to say that anyone should stay in an environment that constantly robs them of their joy. My point however is that, perhaps if we gave our actions a bit more thought, we would pursue these new opportunities in a more organised and strategic way which usually have a higher chance of success than if we dashed out like the woman, endangering our lives in the process.

Are we making hay even before the sun shines? Think about it…

Image credit: shutterstock.com

Declutter for a better life

08 Sunday Feb 2015

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declutter-better-life

“When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown” – Beyonce

I found this quote on the Facebook page of one of my secondary schoolmates and added my bit to the original quote, which now goes thus;

“When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown and that’s when magic usually happens.” – Chika Efobi

The idea for this post came to me about 6 months ago when I was “spring cleaning” my room. Those who are close to me would know I am a kind of hoarder. Hoarder, not in the sense of not being able to bin/ let go of personal items, but in the sense that I tend to keep personal items such as jewelry, shoes, etc. in their original packaging and in cases of items I use more often, I save their boxes in case I need them in future for moving house etc.

On one hand, the practice means that most of these items are in near-perfect condition with resalable value for if/when I want to sell them on eBay or give out to family/friends. On the other hand this means that my personal space is always filled with boxes of varying sizes, occupying space, marking time for when I decide to get rid of the items. This has gone on for years and sometimes I end up forgetting that some of the items even exist until when I actually need them.

So on this day, six months ago, I decided to take on the task of de-cluttering my personal space and what a task it was! Boxes got thrown out, pieces of jewelry got rearranged and old shoes went. I even found a box for a pedometer, which I hardly use (I wonder what I was saving that one for…lol).

When I finally finished clearing out the boxes, I looked round my space and it felt airy, clean and light. It certainly smelt a bit better too! (not like my space smells…hey stop that thought!) People who have ever de-cluttered would know what I mean.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are there people we are holding on to that do not necessarily add value to us?” Do we have friends and people in our lives that do not do anything for us but take up space and crowd our lives with unhelpful words, drama and negativity? Are we holding on to someone similar to that pedometer box which did absolutely nothing for me? Perhaps this is the time to let go, cut them off or even let them know how they could start adding more value?

Perhaps, the first step could be to have an honest conversation with yourself, after which you should be able to identify which friendships and relationships, which you should cut off to make your life less complicated and more beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, this process is not in the least easy. It may seem painful, especially if you have convinced yourself over a period of time that you need these friendships/relationships but trust me, once you have done this exercise, you would experience some kind of peace which passes all understanding.

I hope you have a fulfilling week.

Love,

Chika

Image credit: http://www.simplify101.com/

Secret Santa

18 Sunday Jan 2015

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secretsanta

Wow…I just realised that it has been more than a year since I made my last blog post. Where has all the time gone? Happy New Year everyone.

Let me start by rendering a huge apology to all my readers who I disappointed with my long absence. I got calls and messages regarding posting new articles but for some reason, I let life get in the way. I must do better this year.

This post was inspired exactly one month ago right around Christmas by my office Secret Santa event.

For those who are not aware, Secret Santa mostly takes place in offices or among groups of friends and usually involves each member of the group picking out a name from a hat and then buying a little gift for the person whose name was picked out of the hat. After which the gift is secretly placed into a bag and shared out during the office Christmas party or get-together.

My office organised one of these Secret Santa events and I drew out a name from the hat. Considering I was relatively new to the role, I was a bit confused as to what I should buy for said individual as I didn’t think I had known her long enough to know what she would like.

Nevertheless, I went ahead and got what I felt she would like with the relatively little knowledge I had about her, wrapped her gift and dropped it in the bag.

On the day of our Christmas drinks, I picked my gift (which someone else had secretly bought for me) and opened it when I got back to my hotel room. Lo and Behold, it was something similar to what I bought for my partner. I was thrilled! What were the odds? I was even more elated because I liked what I got for my partner so I was quite happy to receive it in return.

This got me thinking about life in general. What if we got the same attitude, responses, treatment we gave out to others? Would we be happy to be treated the exact way we treat each other? Would we be encouraged and feel treasured if we were talked to in the same manner we talk to others. Would you be happy if someone talked about you the same way you talked about others?

This gave me food for thought and I hope it does too. I believe the New Year is a perfect time to look inwards and make lasting changes.

I strongly believe that if everyone took a step back for a few seconds to evaluate what we were giving out, perhaps the world would not be in the mess we seem to be in.

There would be fewer killings, crimes, bullying, marital disharmony and sadness if we just stopped to think how we would feel if the tables were turned.

A better world starts with you. Think about it…

Have a fruitful new week

Love,

Chika

Image credit: outboxdocuments.co.uk

Happy New Year!!!

04 Saturday Jan 2014

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blue sky

“There is no such thing as a grey day, the sky is always blue. Sometimes there are grey clouds, in front of the blue sky so we say the sky is grey today but never… The sky is always blue” – Marianne Williamson

Hi friends,
This is to remind you that just as the blue skies seem hidden behind the grey clouds, your life is always beautiful and brilliant. All you need to do is open your eyes and heart to see.

Have a fulfilling and blessed 2014

Love,
Chika

Image credit: redbubble.com