Tag Archives: dreams

Crowd funding Twisted in a Positive Way – the novel

18 Saturday Jul 2015

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Last week, I wrote a blog post about taking the first step towards writing my novel.

Now the manuscript is with my editor, I have taking a further step to launch a crowd funding page on Indiegogo. http://igg.me/at/twistedinapositiveway

The novel, Twisted in a Positive Way is an inspirational story which takes us into the life of a beautiful young girl, Adaugo growing up in one of the most notorious neighbourhoods in Lagos, Nigeria.

It tells the story of different stages of her life and her constant and endless struggle to reconcile popular belief systems with her own personal convictions. She does this with the help and guidance of a character called her inner being.

It also has an element of romance mixed with spirituality which would leave the reader with the courage to look beyond present circumstances in the pursuit of his or her dreams.

I have set the following achievable milestones in the run up to the publishing date of 23 September 2015;

End of June 2015 – Complete manuscript (done)

Mid-August 2015 – Complete proof-reading, editing and formatting

Early September 2015 – Procure and customise perks

Mid-September 2015 – Printing and production of paperback copies complete

22 September 2015 – Ship! Ship! Ship!

My goal is for everyone interested to place pre-orders in form of taking perks on the crowd funding website. This would help generate publicity for the book prior to its official release date.

In exchange for your donations, I have created 4 categories of perks listed below;

Perk One – The Silent Believer – £5

In exchange for £5 you receive one electronic copy of Twisted in a Positive Way (Amazon kindle or eBook download) + a personalised thank you email.

Perk Two – The Glorious Adopter – £10

In exchange for £10 you receive one copy of Twisted in a Positive Way paperback novel + Personalised thank you note + Free postage and packaging within UK (Please include an additional £3 towards international shipping costs)

Perk Three – The Active Believer – £20

In exchange for £20 you receive one copy of Twisted in a Positive Way paperback novel + one attractive #TwistedInAPositiveWay branded T shirt (Available sizes and colours include S, M, L,XL and XXL in white, green, blue, black and red colours for male and female) + personalised thank you note +free UK postage and packaging (Please include £5 towards international shipping costs)

Perk Four – The Maestro Adopter – £25

In exchange for £25 you receive one copy of Twisted in a Positive Way paperback novel + one attractive #TwistedInAPositiveWay branded T shirt (sizes available include S, M, L,XL and XXL sizes in white, green, blue, black and red colours for male and female + Free e-book/Amazon kindle download of second book “Living and Learning” scheduled for publishing in 2016 + personalised thank you note + free UK postage and packaging (Please include £5 towards international shipping costs)

If you are inspired to support this project in exchange for copies of the novel, please go ahead and make a donation by clicking my crowd funding page here http://igg.me/at/twistedinapositiveway.

Also feel free to reblog this or share the link on your social media platforms. Every donation you make would take this project closer to being a success.

Finally, if there are any other perks you would like to see on the crowd funding page, please make your suggestion in the comment section and I will look into adding them on.

Thank you in advance for your support.

Love,

Chika

Take that first step

08 Wednesday Jul 2015

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The law of thought

No matter what burden we carry or how rough the terrain, we always discover that we are stronger than we think. It all begins with the courage to take that first step – Cheryl Strayed

It has been more than a month since I last posted anything new on my blog. In this period I have posted motivational and inspiring quotes on the blog Facebook page. (Please like my Facebook page here).

Another reason behind my month long absence is that I have been in the process of finishing the manuscript of my first book also titled Twisted In a Positive Way which is scheduled to be published in roughly 10 weeks’ time.

Now that the manuscript is with my editor, I have taken some time to reflect on why it has taken this long (about 8 years long years) to complete this book project.

I first had the idea to write a book 8 years ago. As at then, I was not quite sure of what I was going to write about so instead I set up a blog, Living and Learning to develop some comfort in my writing abilities. I later took down the blog about 3 years ago and started my current one which you are now reading.

In those 8 years, I found myself dismissing the idea, I battled with it, fought with myself, procrastinated. A number of evenings, I told myself I was too tired, I would do it tomorrow but tomorrow never quite came.

It was not until the beginning of this year, 2015 that I sat myself down and tried to find answers to my seeming reluctance to start my book project. I found out that my delay was not for want of a title to give the book, I already knew what the title would be 3 years ago. Neither was it from my lack equipment to type with – I had a laptop and even got a Microsoft Surface in 2013 specifically for this purpose. Even if I didn’t have any laptop or mobile device, I had my hands and writing materials and I could also string a few words together to make a bit of sense. So why did I delay?

In my sober reflection, I was able to establish 3 major reasons behind my delay. The first one was pure and simple laziness. I would get home from work and convince myself that I was too tired to do anything other than to sit in front of the television until sleep claimed me. Then I would rinse and repeat the same process the following day.

The second reason was inertia – I was unwilling to change my state at the time, I had become very comfortable with just coming back from work and relaxing. I was happy and content with my life just the way it was.

The third, perhaps most important reason was FEAR. I was afraid I would write a really rubbish book so I did not want to even try. I did not want to have wasted my time and energy doing something that may not work. So I squashed the idea and did not bother about it until January this year.

I have found out that the fear of failure is one of the main reasons why most people do not pursue their dreams nor embark on some personal projects they really want to do. They are afraid of what people would say if they launched out and failed. They are afraid to lose money, afraid to lose their sense of security, afraid to be mocked by friends and perhaps enemies.

Sometimes some people are even afraid to succeed because when they succeed, they may even lose friends. So they seek comfort in what they know, squash their dreams and settle for what they have until the dream becomes nothing but a distant memory.

Perhaps it is time to replace the thought of “What if I fail?” with “What if I succeed?”

The truth is there is no way to know if you would fail until you actually take that step and try. The people you are worried about that would laugh at you if you failed have their own failures to think and worry about.

Even if you do eventually fail, at least you have the comfort and the peace that comes in the knowledge that you at least tried. You gave it your best. That in itself puts you in a better place than a vast majority of people in this world who are too afraid to start anything.

You may be worried that you don’t have access to sufficient information to embark on pursuing your dreams. If that is your fear, do not worry. Just take the first step and it would amaze you how the right people with the right information would show up when you need it the most and because you have started, you would be quick to recognise the opportunities as they show up.

For me, I don’t know if my book Twisted In a Positive Way would be successful. Only time would tell but at least I can rest in the knowledge that I have gone out to finish something I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

The knowledge that you have stepped out and followed that dream of yours despite all your fears to me is success in itself.

I hope this motivates you to take that step that you have always wanted to.

Love,

Chika

Telling Great Lies

26 Sunday Apr 2015

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telling great lies

I know that a number of people who come across this title would wonder what I mean by the title. Years ago, I read the book, “Retire Young Retire Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki where came across the concept.

This has to do with the kind of words we say to ourselves. I found out that when one makes a statement such as “I can never have enough money” or “I can never be rich” or “I can never be happy” that these statements are actually lies because they are not based on actual facts. They have not been to the future to confirm that they can never be those things, so basically, they are lying.

This same principle applies to a situation where one makes a statement such as “I will be very rich in future” or “I will pass my exams” or “I will be happily married”. They have also lied.

However, the truth is that anything you say about yourself will eventually become a reality in future. This means that these lies you tell about yourself, if told over a long enough period of time, would eventually come true. This is because those words are planted in your mind and begin to affect your actions and your future is a result of your actions based on the words you have spoken to your mind.

So when one makes a statement such as “I cannot have enough money”, what happens is that the person’s mind picks up the message of poverty and transmits it to the brain and it sits there, such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the mind shuts off itself from this opportunity thus causing the person to remain at that same level of poverty or perceived lack of prosperity.

The same applies to when a person makes a positive statement such as, “I will be very rich”, the person’s mind picks up the message and the brain continues to work out ways for the person to become rich such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the brain immediately picks it up and the person takes advantage of the opportunity.

Taking all these into consideration, I believe that it makes a bit more sense for me to live a great life which has come about through the telling of positive lies I have told in the past about my future than to have a life filled with pain and sadness as a result of negative lies I may have spoken into my future.

I am not saying that telling lies with the intent to deceive is good, but when it comes to our future, we should watch the words we use because our words do become a reality.

Just as Christians believe that the world was created through spoken word, we as humans have this immense power in our spoken word because we are a product of the superior intelligence that created the world.

Telling great lies in practice is very easy and costs very little, if anything. However, its benefits are amazing as it helps to shape our future and keeps us in a great mood.

So my advice is this,  next time you feel down and negative thoughts fill your mind, just watch yourself and spot when those negative lies are about to pop out of your mouth. Stop yourself and consciously choose instead to speak positively.

Make positive speaking a habit and watch your life and your outlook about life change for the better.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Chika

The Power of Association

20 Monday Apr 2015

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the power of association

This is a repost from a blog I had about a decade ago. Even though it has been a decade since I originally wrote this, I believe the lessons are still very valid for the times we are in…

Read below;

This topic has been on my mind for a while but no introduction ever seemed to fit. It was not until this morning, I was trying to wipe water that spilled on the floor. I had my bowl of water and my mop, and then my mind did a flash back to a HIV advert I watched on MTV about a year ago. Two young guys were about to go diving. The first guy insisted on going in with their safety gear. His friend said, “No we always go in with it, there are no sharks around. Let’s just go in this once without it.” The guy still argued with his friend a bit but finally his friend convinced him and they both dived in without their safety gear. True to the way life usually works out, they both got eaten by sharks.

It is a fact that those we constantly associate with have the power to either add to us or subtract from us. When we constantly interact with people, before long, we find ourselves beginning to act, speak and think like them.

If your inner circle is made up of people who constantly and without fail, sit around and engage in idle chat and gossip, while arguing about non-issues, before long, you would find yourself doing the same.

On the other hand, If your inner circle is made up of people who are focused, driven and serious minded, you too will have no choice but to be like them.

There have been a number of literature that have been dedicated to explaining the impacts of friendships and associations. The Bible also supports it in Proverbs 13 vs. 20 which states:

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

I like to believe that there are 5 different kinds of friends. They include, Refreshers, Refiners, Reflectors, Reducers and Rejecters. Below is a brief explanation of each category;

Refreshers: These are friends or acquaintances who strengthen your faith, encourage and energize and motivate you towards achieving your goals and vision. They too have big dreams and share a similar vision with you. When you interact with these people, your energy level goes up and you stay inspired.

Refiners: This group of people clarify your vision. After interacting with a refiner, you leave the room feeling more energised and with a clearer definition of your vision. They are very similar to the refreshers.

Reflectors: This group of people neither add nor subtract from you. They only mirror your energy. You have a great time interacting with them but you do not feel that you have learnt anything new, neither do you feel worse off. Most work colleagues fall into this category.

Reducers: These are people who actively/unconsciously try to diminish your goals and efforts to bring you down to their comfort level. Most of the time, they are people that are too afraid to see beyond their present situation and they get uncomfortable when they see someone with a large vision. You find out that, after interacting with such people for a long period of time, you feel like your energy levels are down. Perhaps you may feel some feeling of dismay after a long period of interacting with these individuals.

Rejecters: These are people who do not understand you or what you are trying to achieve. They keep criticizing everything and do not attempt to understand. After interacting with a rejecter, you may feel a sense of discomfort and lack of peace.

I believe that it is very easy to categorise your friends and acquaintances into the five categories stated above using their word patterns and reactions to concepts and ideas you come up with. It is now your responsibility to consciously decide who you want to keep in your life and who you need to perhaps not have that close association with if you know that they are/may become hindrances to the fulfillment of your dreams and vision.

I hope this has blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Love,

Chika

Making Hay Before the Sun Shines

08 Sunday Mar 2015

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making hay

The inspiration for this post came to me about 3 months ago.

I was on my way to work having got on my regular train into the city. However, on this day, the weather was not very friendly and as a result, my train got delayed. As you can imagine, there was a mad rush of people whom I suspect also had delayed journeys, milling into the centre, trying to make a dash to their destinations.

As I walked on, I got to a set of traffic lights, pressed the button and stood there, with my headphones on, slightly oblivious to my immediate environment, while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I was getting particularly engrossed in “Drifting” by Enya when I was jolted into reality by a loud scream and the blaring of car horns.

Naturally, I pulled out my headphones from my ears and looked in the direction of the noise and all I saw was a woman running across the road. In her mad rush, she had crossed the road and just narrowly missed being hit by a car.

Of course everyone was relieved that she didn’t get hurt and some older people shook their heads but the funny thing that happened was that about 10 seconds later, the light changed to green for pedestrians to cross and the rest of us crossed the road.

As I carried on walking past shops on my way to my office, so many thoughts crossed my mind. I kept wondering what would have happened if this woman in her blind haste had been hit by the car. “What if she had waited for about 10 more seconds?”. I believe she would have crossed the road in a much more comfortable manner without having to put herself at the kind of risk she did.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are we too hasty to go from where we are to where we want to be?”. “Do we in our haste to achieve goals, blindly rush off going after opportunities and taking decisions which in hindsight turn out to be a big mistake?”.

I have seen so many instances where people have rushed off to quit their jobs or relationships based on the promise of an amazing new position or partner elsewhere, only to find out that they may have been better off if they persevered a bit or left after giving it a bit more time and thought..

This is not to say that anyone should stay in an environment that constantly robs them of their joy. My point however is that, perhaps if we gave our actions a bit more thought, we would pursue these new opportunities in a more organised and strategic way which usually have a higher chance of success than if we dashed out like the woman, endangering our lives in the process.

Are we making hay even before the sun shines? Think about it…

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Declutter for a better life

08 Sunday Feb 2015

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declutter-better-life

“When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown” – Beyonce

I found this quote on the Facebook page of one of my secondary schoolmates and added my bit to the original quote, which now goes thus;

“When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown and that’s when magic usually happens.” – Chika Efobi

The idea for this post came to me about 6 months ago when I was “spring cleaning” my room. Those who are close to me would know I am a kind of hoarder. Hoarder, not in the sense of not being able to bin/ let go of personal items, but in the sense that I tend to keep personal items such as jewelry, shoes, etc. in their original packaging and in cases of items I use more often, I save their boxes in case I need them in future for moving house etc.

On one hand, the practice means that most of these items are in near-perfect condition with resalable value for if/when I want to sell them on eBay or give out to family/friends. On the other hand this means that my personal space is always filled with boxes of varying sizes, occupying space, marking time for when I decide to get rid of the items. This has gone on for years and sometimes I end up forgetting that some of the items even exist until when I actually need them.

So on this day, six months ago, I decided to take on the task of de-cluttering my personal space and what a task it was! Boxes got thrown out, pieces of jewelry got rearranged and old shoes went. I even found a box for a pedometer, which I hardly use (I wonder what I was saving that one for…lol).

When I finally finished clearing out the boxes, I looked round my space and it felt airy, clean and light. It certainly smelt a bit better too! (not like my space smells…hey stop that thought!) People who have ever de-cluttered would know what I mean.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are there people we are holding on to that do not necessarily add value to us?” Do we have friends and people in our lives that do not do anything for us but take up space and crowd our lives with unhelpful words, drama and negativity? Are we holding on to someone similar to that pedometer box which did absolutely nothing for me? Perhaps this is the time to let go, cut them off or even let them know how they could start adding more value?

Perhaps, the first step could be to have an honest conversation with yourself, after which you should be able to identify which friendships and relationships, which you should cut off to make your life less complicated and more beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, this process is not in the least easy. It may seem painful, especially if you have convinced yourself over a period of time that you need these friendships/relationships but trust me, once you have done this exercise, you would experience some kind of peace which passes all understanding.

I hope you have a fulfilling week.

Love,

Chika

Image credit: http://www.simplify101.com/