Telling Great Lies

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telling great lies

I know that a number of people who come across this title would wonder what I mean by the title. Years ago, I read the book, “Retire Young Retire Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki where came across the concept.

This has to do with the kind of words we say to ourselves. I found out that when one makes a statement such as “I can never have enough money” or “I can never be rich” or “I can never be happy” that these statements are actually lies because they are not based on actual facts. They have not been to the future to confirm that they can never be those things, so basically, they are lying.

This same principle applies to a situation where one makes a statement such as “I will be very rich in future” or “I will pass my exams” or “I will be happily married”. They have also lied.

However, the truth is that anything you say about yourself will eventually become a reality in future. This means that these lies you tell about yourself, if told over a long enough period of time, would eventually come true. This is because those words are planted in your mind and begin to affect your actions and your future is a result of your actions based on the words you have spoken to your mind.

So when one makes a statement such as “I cannot have enough money”, what happens is that the person’s mind picks up the message of poverty and transmits it to the brain and it sits there, such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the mind shuts off itself from this opportunity thus causing the person to remain at that same level of poverty or perceived lack of prosperity.

The same applies to when a person makes a positive statement such as, “I will be very rich”, the person’s mind picks up the message and the brain continues to work out ways for the person to become rich such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the brain immediately picks it up and the person takes advantage of the opportunity.

Taking all these into consideration, I believe that it makes a bit more sense for me to live a great life which has come about through the telling of positive lies I have told in the past about my future than to have a life filled with pain and sadness as a result of negative lies I may have spoken into my future.

I am not saying that telling lies with the intent to deceive is good, but when it comes to our future, we should watch the words we use because our words do become a reality.

Just as Christians believe that the world was created through spoken word, we as humans have this immense power in our spoken word because we are a product of the superior intelligence that created the world.

Telling great lies in practice is very easy and costs very little, if anything. However, its benefits are amazing as it helps to shape our future and keeps us in a great mood.

So my advice is this,  next time you feel down and negative thoughts fill your mind, just watch yourself and spot when those negative lies are about to pop out of your mouth. Stop yourself and consciously choose instead to speak positively.

Make positive speaking a habit and watch your life and your outlook about life change for the better.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Chika

The Power of Association

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the power of association

This is a repost from a blog I had about a decade ago. Even though it has been a decade since I originally wrote this, I believe the lessons are still very valid for the times we are in…

Read below;

This topic has been on my mind for a while but no introduction ever seemed to fit. It was not until this morning, I was trying to wipe water that spilled on the floor. I had my bowl of water and my mop, and then my mind did a flash back to a HIV advert I watched on MTV about a year ago. Two young guys were about to go diving. The first guy insisted on going in with their safety gear. His friend said, “No we always go in with it, there are no sharks around. Let’s just go in this once without it.” The guy still argued with his friend a bit but finally his friend convinced him and they both dived in without their safety gear. True to the way life usually works out, they both got eaten by sharks.

It is a fact that those we constantly associate with have the power to either add to us or subtract from us. When we constantly interact with people, before long, we find ourselves beginning to act, speak and think like them.

If your inner circle is made up of people who constantly and without fail, sit around and engage in idle chat and gossip, while arguing about non-issues, before long, you would find yourself doing the same.

On the other hand, If your inner circle is made up of people who are focused, driven and serious minded, you too will have no choice but to be like them.

There have been a number of literature that have been dedicated to explaining the impacts of friendships and associations. The Bible also supports it in Proverbs 13 vs. 20 which states:

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

I like to believe that there are 5 different kinds of friends. They include, Refreshers, Refiners, Reflectors, Reducers and Rejecters. Below is a brief explanation of each category;

Refreshers: These are friends or acquaintances who strengthen your faith, encourage and energize and motivate you towards achieving your goals and vision. They too have big dreams and share a similar vision with you. When you interact with these people, your energy level goes up and you stay inspired.

Refiners: This group of people clarify your vision. After interacting with a refiner, you leave the room feeling more energised and with a clearer definition of your vision. They are very similar to the refreshers.

Reflectors: This group of people neither add nor subtract from you. They only mirror your energy. You have a great time interacting with them but you do not feel that you have learnt anything new, neither do you feel worse off. Most work colleagues fall into this category.

Reducers: These are people who actively/unconsciously try to diminish your goals and efforts to bring you down to their comfort level. Most of the time, they are people that are too afraid to see beyond their present situation and they get uncomfortable when they see someone with a large vision. You find out that, after interacting with such people for a long period of time, you feel like your energy levels are down. Perhaps you may feel some feeling of dismay after a long period of interacting with these individuals.

Rejecters: These are people who do not understand you or what you are trying to achieve. They keep criticizing everything and do not attempt to understand. After interacting with a rejecter, you may feel a sense of discomfort and lack of peace.

I believe that it is very easy to categorise your friends and acquaintances into the five categories stated above using their word patterns and reactions to concepts and ideas you come up with. It is now your responsibility to consciously decide who you want to keep in your life and who you need to perhaps not have that close association with if you know that they are/may become hindrances to the fulfillment of your dreams and vision.

I hope this has blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.

Love,

Chika

Uptown Funk

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clip-art-dancing-999292 Good morning beautiful people,

I hope you had a good Easter break. Mine was fulfilling as I got to kick back and relax after what I felt was a really busy week. As fun as my long weekend was, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the over 100 University students whose lives were brutally cut short in Kenya by some terrorists. I hope this plague of senseless killings is brought to an end soon. May their beautiful souls rest in peace. Amen.

The inspiration for this post came yesterday morning. After the long bank holiday weekend, I woke up by 0530 (before my alarm clock rang). What was more surprising to me was the fact that I had “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars playing in my head right from “dreamland”.

This was surprising because I cannot remember listening to this song throughout the long weekend but try as I could, the song was stuck in my head. Not that I was complaining because it is a happy song, dare I say motivating, kind of like Pharrell William’s “Happy”. So what did I do when I found out that all my effort to get “Uptown funk” out of my head had failed, I went on Spotify, downloaded it and listened to it while I got ready for work and on my commute to work.

Boy, I must say that the song is quite electrifying. If you haven’t listened to it, please do. I almost guaranty that you would find your feet moving along to the beat before long. The part I like best goes like this;

“I’m too hot (hot damn)

Called the police and the fireman

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire man”

I found the lyrics quite funny because first of all, dragons don’t exist other than on the TV show, “Game of Thrones” (in my opinion) but as ridiculously funny as the lyrics were, it put a certain spring in my step. Throughout the morning, I felt quite positive and upbeat. Even when my day went slightly pear shaped, I was still jamming to “Uptown Funk” in my head.

On my train ride to work, I saw a lot of grumpy looking people probably pissed off that the Bank Holiday was over but hey, what else can we do about it? We just have to keep life moving. If we keep filling our minds with everything that is not quite right in life, how else are we going to be happy? We would just keep dwelling on all the bad stuff and through the Law of Attraction, more reasons for us to be unhappy would manifest, causing the cycle to continue probably leading to a really bad day.

I believe that in life, you just have to find what makes you happy. For me it is music and inspirational books (when I get the chance). For another, it could be working out in the gym. For others, it could be writing, reading, playing Sudoku or even singing. I believe that a positively minded person always has a more enjoyable ride on this boat called life.

This is not to say that I don’t have concerns. Very far from it but my point is, what have you got to lose by making yourself happy? Absolutely nothing. I understand that being unnecessarily happy is not everyone’s cup of tea.

I have actually met a couple of people who would much rather moan than look on the bright side of life, so please ignore me if you are one of them. However, I truly hope that being happy makes sense to you and that this post motivates you as it has motivated me.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave your comment and remember, keep keeping on.

Love, Chika

Image Credit: picgifs.com

Standing Still

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standing-still Fairly recently, l took on a new role which involves a lot of commuting. A number of friends and acquaintances believe that the number of hours I spend on the train is a bit too much and some of them have stated out rightly that they could never see themselves ever doing this for a job. Personally, I am thankful for the experience because I believe I have learnt a lot these past few months. A whole lot I must say. The thing I enjoy most about commuting is that it provides me with time to think while doing a bit of people watching and writing. In this present day when we are constantly bombarded by social media notifications, phone calls, WhatsApp messages, text messages, BBMs and all other forms of modern day distractions, it has become quite a luxury for me to be able to set aside time to just clear my head and ponder about everything from life plans to trivial matters such as what I am going to have for dinner. Actually, scratch that, dinner is not trivial for a self professed foodie like me. Thankfully, this is where the gym comes in…when I can drag myself there. Lol…Pardon me, I digress. Back to my point… Being able to mentally eject oneself from all these distractions is what I refer to as standing still. Standing still for a period of time, be it 10 minutes or up to one hour in my case, i.e. a time when you can just sit, lie, stand, bend or take up any position that pleases you to ponder, allow your mind to wander while visiting/revisiting your goals. You know those goals I am referring to, those ones you have told yourself that you just have not got the time to think about because you have been so busy. You could stand still and think about these alongside everything and anything else. You could decide to reflect on the past, your childhood days or even embarrassing moments (I know I have had my fair share of them). Any wholesome thought goes within this period of standing still. I usually end up feeling a lot more grounded than I would otherwise have felt if I were constantly checking my phone and getting distracted by God knows what else. A greater feeling of control and peace usually engulfs me after my “standing still sessions”. Maybe this is what yoga does. I believe both concepts are the same because they both provide one with some time to eject oneself from modern day distractions. It is okay if you are reading this and thinking, “This is total bonkers”. However my suggestion to you would be, why not try it out and if after a few sessions, if you come to the conclusion that this is not for you, then at least you know one more thing that does not quite work for you. I personally have benefited so much from standing still and I strongly believe that if you actively and consciously practise this, you would be pleased at how much mind work you can get done in this period of sober reflection. Till you read from me again, keep keeping on. Image credit: nicktyrone.com

Making Hay Before the Sun Shines

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making hay

The inspiration for this post came to me about 3 months ago.

I was on my way to work having got on my regular train into the city. However, on this day, the weather was not very friendly and as a result, my train got delayed. As you can imagine, there was a mad rush of people whom I suspect also had delayed journeys, milling into the centre, trying to make a dash to their destinations.

As I walked on, I got to a set of traffic lights, pressed the button and stood there, with my headphones on, slightly oblivious to my immediate environment, while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I was getting particularly engrossed in “Drifting” by Enya when I was jolted into reality by a loud scream and the blaring of car horns.

Naturally, I pulled out my headphones from my ears and looked in the direction of the noise and all I saw was a woman running across the road. In her mad rush, she had crossed the road and just narrowly missed being hit by a car.

Of course everyone was relieved that she didn’t get hurt and some older people shook their heads but the funny thing that happened was that about 10 seconds later, the light changed to green for pedestrians to cross and the rest of us crossed the road.

As I carried on walking past shops on my way to my office, so many thoughts crossed my mind. I kept wondering what would have happened if this woman in her blind haste had been hit by the car. “What if she had waited for about 10 more seconds?”. I believe she would have crossed the road in a much more comfortable manner without having to put herself at the kind of risk she did.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are we too hasty to go from where we are to where we want to be?”. “Do we in our haste to achieve goals, blindly rush off going after opportunities and taking decisions which in hindsight turn out to be a big mistake?”.

I have seen so many instances where people have rushed off to quit their jobs or relationships based on the promise of an amazing new position or partner elsewhere, only to find out that they may have been better off if they persevered a bit or left after giving it a bit more time and thought..

This is not to say that anyone should stay in an environment that constantly robs them of their joy. My point however is that, perhaps if we gave our actions a bit more thought, we would pursue these new opportunities in a more organised and strategic way which usually have a higher chance of success than if we dashed out like the woman, endangering our lives in the process.

Are we making hay even before the sun shines? Think about it…

Image credit: shutterstock.com

Declutter for a better life

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declutter-better-life

When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown” – Beyonce

I found this quote on the Facebook page of one of my secondary schoolmates and added my bit to the original quote, which now goes thus;

“When you grow up and learn a few things, you are no longer afraid of letting go… no longer afraid of the unknown and that’s when magic usually happens.” – Chika Efobi

The idea for this post came to me about 6 months ago when I was “spring cleaning” my room. Those who are close to me would know I am a kind of hoarder. Hoarder, not in the sense of not being able to bin/ let go of personal items, but in the sense that I tend to keep personal items such as jewelry, shoes, etc. in their original packaging and in cases of items I use more often, I save their boxes in case I need them in future for moving house etc.

On one hand, the practice means that most of these items are in near-perfect condition with resalable value for if/when I want to sell them on eBay or give out to family/friends. On the other hand this means that my personal space is always filled with boxes of varying sizes, occupying space, marking time for when I decide to get rid of the items. This has gone on for years and sometimes I end up forgetting that some of the items even exist until when I actually need them.

So on this day, six months ago, I decided to take on the task of de-cluttering my personal space and what a task it was! Boxes got thrown out, pieces of jewelry got rearranged and old shoes went. I even found a box for a pedometer, which I hardly use (I wonder what I was saving that one for…lol).

When I finally finished clearing out the boxes, I looked round my space and it felt airy, clean and light. It certainly smelt a bit better too! (not like my space smells…hey stop that thought!) People who have ever de-cluttered would know what I mean.

This got me thinking about life in general, “Are there people we are holding on to that do not necessarily add value to us?” Do we have friends and people in our lives that do not do anything for us but take up space and crowd our lives with unhelpful words, drama and negativity? Are we holding on to someone similar to that pedometer box which did absolutely nothing for me? Perhaps this is the time to let go, cut them off or even let them know how they could start adding more value?

Perhaps, the first step could be to have an honest conversation with yourself, after which you should be able to identify which friendships and relationships, which you should cut off to make your life less complicated and more beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, this process is not in the least easy. It may seem painful, especially if you have convinced yourself over a period of time that you need these friendships/relationships but trust me, once you have done this exercise, you would experience some kind of peace which passes all understanding.

I hope you have a fulfilling week.

Love,

Chika

Image credit: http://www.simplify101.com/

Secret Santa

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secretsanta

Wow…I just realised that it has been more than a year since I made my last blog post. Where has all the time gone? Happy New Year everyone.

Let me start by rendering a huge apology to all my readers who I disappointed with my long absence. I got calls and messages regarding posting new articles but for some reason, I let life get in the way. I must do better this year.

This post was inspired exactly one month ago right around Christmas by my office Secret Santa event.

For those who are not aware, Secret Santa mostly takes place in offices or among groups of friends and usually involves each member of the group picking out a name from a hat and then buying a little gift for the person whose name was picked out of the hat. After which the gift is secretly placed into a bag and shared out during the office Christmas party or get-together.

My office organised one of these Secret Santa events and I drew out a name from the hat. Considering I was relatively new to the role, I was a bit confused as to what I should buy for said individual as I didn’t think I had known her long enough to know what she would like.

Nevertheless, I went ahead and got what I felt she would like with the relatively little knowledge I had about her, wrapped her gift and dropped it in the bag.

On the day of our Christmas drinks, I picked my gift (which someone else had secretly bought for me) and opened it when I got back to my hotel room. Lo and Behold, it was something similar to what I bought for my partner. I was thrilled! What were the odds? I was even more elated because I liked what I got for my partner so I was quite happy to receive it in return.

This got me thinking about life in general. What if we got the same attitude, responses, treatment we gave out to others? Would we be happy to be treated the exact way we treat each other? Would we be encouraged and feel treasured if we were talked to in the same manner we talk to others. Would you be happy if someone talked about you the same way you talked about others?

This gave me food for thought and I hope it does too. I believe the New Year is a perfect time to look inwards and make lasting changes.

I strongly believe that if everyone took a step back for a few seconds to evaluate what we were giving out, perhaps the world would not be in the mess we seem to be in.

There would be fewer killings, crimes, bullying, marital disharmony and sadness if we just stopped to think how we would feel if the tables were turned.

A better world starts with you. Think about it…

Have a fruitful new week

Love,

Chika

Image credit: outboxdocuments.co.uk

Happy New Year!!!

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blue sky

“There is no such thing as a grey day, the sky is always blue. Sometimes there are grey clouds, in front of the blue sky so we say the sky is grey today but never… The sky is always blue” – Marianne Williamson

Hi friends,
This is to remind you that just as the blue skies seem hidden behind the grey clouds, your life is always beautiful and brilliant. All you need to do is open your eyes and heart to see.

Have a fulfilling and blessed 2014

Love,
Chika

Image credit: redbubble.com

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